Take a good look at your husband, wife or partner. Cute face, right? Kind of charming? Maybe a little grey around the temples, but you two know each other. You go way back.

You also probably both keep a few secrets, but that's normal, right? Past indiscretions are usually best left in the past, especially if it's before you met. ("Frank the Tank" needs to stay locked away, you both agreed.)

But with money, it's never so simple. If your partner was lying about some aspect of his or her finances, would you want to know? Or, let's ask it another way: If you're the one fibbing about your debt or hiding a big splurge, would you ever confess?

Kathleen Gurney visited her first brokerage firm ,nearly three decades ago, as a young psychology professor with a burgeoning private practice and some cash to invest. She knew financial planning was important but had no clear sense of what she wanted to do with her money. The broker asked her some simple questions: When did she want to retire?; How much risk was she willing to accept? But answering even these basic queries proved difficult. "I found myself giving him socially desirable answers," she says. She craved financial stability. And yet, when he asked her about risk tolerance, she responded, "Oh, well, you know, I think I'm a pretty good risk taker."

As the interview progressed, Gurney experienced what she knew, as a psychologist, was a panic attack. The fact she recognized the symptoms offered no comfort. -"Iost my ability to hear what he said. I couldn't keep track of the products he offered," she says. "I left asking, 'My gosh, why was that such an uncomfortable situation for me?'" _ That question became the focus of Gurney's professional career. ..... (read more)